Expect A Positive Outcome in your Marriage
Published by admin0 on Tagged Advice Relationship, Christian Marriage, Counseling Marriage, Counselor Family Marriage, Divorce, Help Marriage, Marriage, Marriage Counseling, Marriage Preparation, Marriage Save, Relationship Counseling, Relationship Rescue, Relationship advice, Save Marriage, Uncategorized, Wife, care feeding marriage proper, love, love marriage sex, love relationship, love sex marriage, marriage advice, marriage counselor, marriage family counselingMany times problems occur in a marriage because a spouse thinks that he/she can predict the future. A husband might say something like, “I know just how my wife will respond when I tell her that I’m going out.” Or a wife might say, “My husband will go berserk when my parents come over for dinner.”
The challenge with predicting future outcomes is that whether you realize it or not, you begin to act in a certain way, which broadcasts your expectations of your partner. The outcome we fear is usually brought about by these subtle signals we project……
When you anticipate failure or feel defeated before you approach a challenging situation, its helpful to ask yourself how you would handle the situation differently if you
were expecting a positive outcome. How would your approach to your partner differ, if you thought he/she would respond lovingly?
Once you have decided which approach would bring about a different response, pretend you are expecting good things to happen, then watch what happens.
For example, my friend Mispah had been away from home for one week of job training. During that period, she called home every day to check on her husband and 3 children. By mid week, Mispah could tell that her husband John was getting tired of playing Mr. Mom. He grew less friendly with each passing call.
When she arrived at the airport, on her way back home, she felt a knot in her stomach. John was meeting her at the airport. Mispah assumed that John would not be excited to see her and would just want to pass the kids over to her and go out for a few beers.
Because Mispah was expecting an icy reception, she probably would have gotten it.
But she remembered one of our previous conversations. She asked herself, “How would I greet John if I wanted him to be happy to see me? What could I say or do when I saw him, to help change his mood?”
So Mispah decided to act as if John was elated about her home coming. And she did.
She greeted him, exuberantly hugging and kissing him, and proceeded to tell him all about the training and who she met there. Then she asked him about the kids and praised him for doing such an awesome job.
After 15 seconds, Mispah said that John was thrilled to see her; and that the ride home was great.
So the next time you find yourself thinking negative about how a situation may turn out; stop for a moment and ask yourself,
a) “How was I going to approach this situation given my pessimistic thought?
b) How would I want the situation to turn out instead?
c) What would I do differently if I was expecting good things to happen.”
Regardless of your skepticism about the possible outcome, do all the things you would do as if you were expecting a positive outcome. Then watch the results!
There are 7 strategies that have effectively helped thousands solve disagreements in their marriages. There are also 5 stages that each marriage must go through. Learn all about these strategies and identify which stage your marriage is in, by typing your first name and e-mail address in the top right hand corner of this; then click “Yes, sign me up.”
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